By Ida Lawrence
The vast universe that is within you is a holograph… a quanta of the greater ‘All that is’, of which you are a part. How do I know that? I just know. I have seen it with my mind’s eye: a beautiful vision in which my spirit rests. There’s scientific evidence to it, and the experience of visionaries to verify it, but it’s still subjective. As above, so below and we want to Know, so we look within to see as much as we can see of ‘All that is’.
Self knowledge, i.e. knowledge of the divinity within, is what inspires the consciousness movement. No matter if our work is toward our own health, or the health of the planet, or the healing of the people, or the end of war, or the battle for truth and justice, or our own liberation from it all… we are driven to know how what is ‘inside’ of us relates to what is ‘outside’ of us, and how we relate to each other as humans… separate or One.
I’ve been thinking about our individual contributions to the whole, as each One small part does differ from all others. Every evolution is unique, as your experience in this lifetime and perhaps past lifetimes, has made you a certain package of energy/information as has mine. What does our information offer then, to the knowledge body of the whole, and how can our information help as we navigate through the density and the challenges?
Looking back I see that my experience as female has been a very significant part of my learning. We say we are spirit in flesh; and I am in the flesh of a female, with all the female parts, and with the desire to know/feel what exactly is feminine, i.e. what is our essence and our divinity. How does our essence vibrate in perfection with the male essence… how does that dual vibration feel?
This is not going to be a ‘masculine and feminine polarities within every human’ dissertation. We’ve already talked about that, and of course it’s very significant. But I don’t think we can skip on by the significance of having been born into a body that physically manifests one of those polarities. I am a woman… and that is different than I am a man.
And may I say, collectively we are in a sh*tload of trouble with regard to balance in this most vital relationship… the woman and man. Correspondingly, human society and the earth are utterly out of balance. Can we bring it back to balance by bringing ourselves back to our essence, and then living with reverence for ourselves, each other, and that divine force that is our union?
I am getting older, which means nothing except that I have lived through a time when women were looked upon as being reflections of the light of men, and not generators of light in and of themselves. That gives me some empirical knowledge, which is one ‘plus’ of age. Some might bemoan the women’s liberation movement, believing that it took something away from the woman, and from the man/woman natural balance. But if there is no balance spiritually, a movement does have to occur, and it did.
’Who am I’ is the bottom line question of any grouping that has experienced spiritual suppression and misinformation, social oppression, and physical domination. Please allow me to use Afrodescendants as a template, because their experience provides the perfect example of what I am attempting to express. Within the Western slavery experience we find something unique… the separation of the individual from essence. The ‘I Am’ of tribe, language, culture, spirituality is severed, and all that remains is ‘I am human’. Even that is then removed, and becomes… I am less than human. Recovery from that trans-generational devastation took the form of an enormous battle of ‘I am equal to you’.
Once that equality was proven, what remained? The realization… I am equal to you but I am Not You. Who am I? I am acting like you and speaking like you and believing like you, but somehow this feels like another person’s clothes – I can never be as good as you at being you. Now left with the question of who am I… really… Afrodescendants are tuning in to their own drumbeat, and they will succeed in Self transformation. The evolved individual emerges from such a ‘been through the fire’ experience as a shining light.
Now we’ll return to women, and the women’s liberation movement that I lived through. It certainly isn’t the only evolutionary balancing movement that men and women have gone through, but it is the latest, and one with which we are familiar. Being viewed as a reflection of the man’s light, rather than our own light, translated into many different forms, with the lowest being ‘you are mine to use’. Like Afrodescendants, we believed that our battlefront was the ‘I am equal to you’ one. And so we set out to be competition.
We did learn some things, and gain vital ground, but something twisted happened in the battle. Equal doesn’t mean ‘same as’ and we lost it when we went there. I realize one might say we were directed there, as a lot of this was a manipulation… but still, it happened. And who can say it shouldn’t have happened. It’s a part of the evolutionary process. To get to where we ask the question ‘who am I’, we had to go through the equality push, and the finding out of ‘who I am not’.
As a wise friend once said, rebel against one matrix and bring it down, underneath the deeper matrix shows up. Now we are experiencing a couple of generations of women who can do anything a man can do: run any business, enter any profession, totally support themselves, wear whatever they wish, have sex with anybody they wish, say whatever they wish, create whatever they wish… BE the light… free, free, free. The question is, why are so many so mean spirited, controlling, teasing and hostile, demanding and diminishing. “I can take care of myself – I don’t need a man – you cannot use me,” has become the mantra of all too many.
Whose light are we being? Is it ours?
Evolutionary moment here: we have come through something, and now we ask the question of ‘who am I’. I am a female human. Can I feel my essence? Have I looked? What is my model? What is the nature in which I was created? I now have all of these new skills and competencies and powers, can I use them according to my own nature, and not attempt to replicate someone else’s nature.
It’s not a new suggestion, it’s an old one, but I’m going to offer it again and perhaps we can look at it in a more comprehensive way. My model is Gaia – she is the feminine principle. We know all about her: her receptivity, her fecundity, her utter beauty, her power of renewal, her wisdom, her transformative power, her grace, her softness, her gentleness, her ferocity, her destructive power.